So…a few years ago, I had a ‘falling out’ with my brother.
Now…this isn’t the first time that we’ve stopped speaking. And both times were instigated by him.
I hate arguing.
On this particular occasion, I was leaving work when my phone started ringing. It was him. I can’t remember how it started, but I do remember him saying that I never help him with anything, even though it was ME who lent him money when he wanted to buy a house.
Anyway, this particular altercation ended in a drawn out text interaction, in which he told me that he hoped he’d never see or hear from me again.
I told him to be careful what he wished for.
That was about 5 years ago. We haven’t spoken since, and I have no interest in rekindling that relationship.
Now…you might say that I’m being petty, and that I should let ‘bygones be bygones’, but this isn’t the first time that this has happened. The first time, BOTH of my brothers jumped on me, and as usual, it was about money.
Specifically, because I had it, and they didn’t.
That’s the abbreviated version.
Suffice it to say, that what he said to me that day hurt me more than anyone else ever has. And I’ll never let it happen again.
The rest of my family has asked me why we don’t speak, why I won’t “give him another chance”, to which I have to ask “why the hell should I give him another chance?? This is the SECOND time he’s done this, after I forgave him the first time!” You know the saying “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice…”
He managed to burn through his second chance. Now I’m protecting myself.
The last time that my older brother tried to talk to me about it, I told him in no uncertain terms that if he brought it up again, I’d stop talking to him too. He and I are good.
The moral of this story is, that when someone disrespects you, if your heart and soul are telling you that it’s something you just can’t get past, don’t force it. No matter who says that you should.
Maya Angelou says “You teach people how to treat you”. And she’s right.
She also says, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them…the first time.”
My brother showed me who he was the first time that he flipped out on me over money, but I let him back in.
There are those people who will say that “he’s your brother…you HAVE to talk to him”. And to that I say…I fucking well do NOT have to. What I have to do, is respect my own mental state, and protect myself. Nothing else matters.
He’s shown me that he’ll do it again, if I allow him to. So I’m not taking the chance.
I’m loving my life the way it is…without him 🙂 And I don’t even think about it. Ever.
I’m at peace with my decision.